All too often we get sucked into the common stereotypes that women are single and unhappy. We’re either too focused on our careers to care about a guy, or we have some horrible flaw that eventually will be fixed by the ‘right’ guy in our lives. Well, for those of us living in the real world, we know that these stereotypes aren’t true. We can have careers we enjoy as well as a thriving social life, and our flaws are something we learn to embrace or fix ourselves.
When we don’t follow the path that has been laid out for us, we might feel like we’ve done something wrong. If we haven’t found our spouse after we’ve gone to college and worked for a bit, there has to be something wrong with us. We’re expected to grow up, get married, settle down, and create a family of our own.
For many of us, this isn’t how the story goes. We haven’t found the right person to marry not because we aren’t desirable, but because we just haven’t met them yet. Or, we are content to be where we are, and being in a relationship doesn’t change the base level of happiness we have with our lives.
Of course, it can be difficult to sit on the side lines while your friends and family members begin to be married off one by one. As someone who has been a bridesmaid multiple times and who still isn’t married, I feel that pain. However, I also don’t want to rush into a relationship I’m not supposed to be in just because it’s what other people are telling me to do.
The pressure we put ourselves under is often stronger than the pressure from other people telling us where we should be in our lives. We often feel undesirable because we think we should have been married or found someone special to be in a relationship with by now. By taking a step back you can see where you have been pressuring yourself to fit in a box that your life isn’t meant to fit in.
This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t have goals or expectations for our lives- rather, it means that we accept where we are, and work towards being the kind of person who could thrive in a relationship a bit further on down the road. By investing in yourself and what makes you happy, you focus your intentions on another person who could eventually come in and compliment your life, rather than take it over entirely.
Remember, it’s not desperate or needy to want to be in a relationship. Just remember to let life happen, and to let people and love come into your life without forcing it. You are enough for someone else, and you are enough to make yourself happy, too.