Believe it or not, you can master anything. This guide will tell you how. Everyone has problems they wish did not exist. Even those who can easily identify these problems may not really want help. there is a distinction between the kinds of people that exist. These are people who fix their problems and those who complain about their problems. There is a huge difference in these two groups.
Fixers are eternally devoted to figuring out what problems they have an finding a way to solve them. While these individuals may not always choose the correct angle and they may delude themselves of certain problems at times, they will try to get through them in every way possible. These type of people tend to set aside pride an admit their failures so they can learn how to fix them.
Complainers on the other hand, are devoted to seeking emotional salves for each of their problems. Complainers may feel bad, but they do not want to not feel bad by actually correcting the problem. They simply want someone to pat them on the back, tell them they cannot control the world and then they feel better for a time. Then the cycle starts over as people spend a lifetime listening to their complaints, consoling them, and never really correcting anything.
While everyone complains from time to time, the difference between complainers and fixers is asking how they can change to make things better and trying it. The action is the difference. No one can really explain how to become a fixer or complainer, maybe it is inborn, but everyone falls into one category or another. If you are not sure which you are, answer these four questions.
What are your five biggest problems and are they your fault?
When something is not working out for you, who should fix it?
Are you guilty of venting about the same problem repeatedly?
What are you doing to fix these problems or improve your station in life?
If you know your problems are your own and you are responsible for fixing them, then you are a fixer if you are taking the steps to do so. Otherwise, you are a complainer. These two mindsets come from philosophical differences among the holders. Fixers are people who realize that human systems are far from perfect an we cannot control these people. You may be who people say and you may be missing out on something, but if you are not actively trying to change that then your mental model is off. Correct this and learn to master things instead of just complaining. When trying to recognize a complainer, listen for the word “should”, they use this often.
To a fixer, people are the way they are and we cannot change others, only ourselves. Instead of spending time ranting and raving about problems, fixers practice their ability to cause things to work as they want within the world that we live.
Fixer’s Cross to Bear
A fixer will admit they will never be good enough. There will always be things to improve, but this does not speak to weakness, it causes a push to become the master of many things. To learn how to master anything, you must want them better and believe that you are the key to that through personal betterment.
Realize that you may not be able to control another person, but can control your ability to inspire specific emotions and bring value to a life. You cannot control what someone wants or does not want, but can put the best you have forward. You cannot control the government or social happenings, but can build up resources to navigate tricky situations when needed. This is the cross a fixer must bear in life. The complainer expects the system to care for them, the fixer plans ahead and fights on.
To gain the will to master anything, you must first be mad. If mastering something was easy, we would not look to masters with respect. It may also help to be a bit crazy, narcissistic, or have a little area that is slightly insane. This is because people who are content and happy have no reason to try harder, they are already happy. Granted, the over the top attitudes can become problematic at times, but they can also be a positive in many situations.
You must also be clear on the goal to master anything. This is not only the overall goal, but the steps involved. You cannot get excited otherwise. Choose specific and motivating goals to keep yourself going forward. To help your chances at success, consider the following:
- Find a role model of what is to be mastered
- Make up your mind to succeed
- Study everything you can about the skill
- Become highly devoted to breaking down the mechanics and learning each
- Practice constantly and deliberately
One important aspect of transitioning from beginner to intermediate in a skill is letting go of the emotional connection to the outcome of any one attempt and transferring it to the actual skill. Whether it happens the first try or the second does not matter, it is when you gain consistency that makes the difference.
Assuming you fall into the three areas of being a bit crazy or driven, are mad enough to try and clear about the goals, then here is how you go about mastering any skill.
- Skill first, then focus – You may desire a certain skill for a specific job or person, but it must start with the skill that can then be used in a specific way.
- Practice – The best way to learn anything is to practice. If you can find a way to get paid to practice a skill, do so, otherwise just practice religiously.
- Analyze – This involves deconstructing each part of a skill and starting at the beginning to learn. Do not blame circumstances when you fail, adjust and keep trying.
- Target weak spots – If you have weak spots, work harder in those areas until they improve, then move on. This is part of goal setting and very important.
- Obsess over the skill – Though most see obsession or perfectionism as a bad thing, it can be helpful in new skill development.
- Teach others – As you improve, start teaching others. This can allow for extra time with the subject matter and allow you to analyze it often as you grow and improve.
- Immerse yourself – Start as soon as possible to live, eat, and breath the new skill. A supportive environment helps, but immersion is most important.
- Seek mentors – Talk to and work with someone who has mastered the skill so you can learn from them and get advice on weak areas. Form natural relationships with mentors. Do not chase someone down to get their help as this can lead to resentment.
This may sound like a tall order, but it is possible. There are examples everywhere of masters in given areas. Start the process right away with set goals and get to work. If you do not change it, it will never change.